DO ME A FAVOR, PLEASE

Please do me a favor and stop sending me stuff that someone else wrote.  We're friends, aren't we?  I like you and respect you or else we probably would have never become friends.  That means I value what you have to say on a particular subject and I trust you to occasionally find some value in my thoughts.

We can discuss religion or politics or the price of tea in China all you want.  The key part of that sentence is, "We can discuss."  When you send me something written by someone else, something that is often inaccurate or marginally misleading in the hopes -- What? -- that it will cause me to change my views on religion or my political stance on something, I always ignore it and usually delete it before opening it.  As soon as I see that it went to several hundred people before you got it and forwarded it, I delete it.

Tell me how YOU feel about the oil crisis in the Gulf of Mexico.  Tell me YOUR thoughts on the Kagan nomination to the Supreme Court.  Tell me how YOU feel about the local school bond issue.  I will gladly discuss anything with you.  I'll share my views and give you my reasons.  But to have a discussion, I need to know your thoughts, your feelings and your reasoning.  Otherwise, there is nothing to discuss.  I have you assume that for whatever reason you are just jerking my chain.

There can be no discussion with some nameless person who wrote something in 24-point type, in blue yet, and sent it around the world to ten thousand others before you received it.  Let those people sound off all they want.  Let them share their propaganda, their bigotry, their wild accusations.  Let them make whatever ridiculous claims they want.  You and I do not have to participate in the charade.  Their tirade of misstatements, misquotes or political spin will have a life without you and I participating.

And PLEASE do not urge me to SEND THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW.  I do not participate in any of those chain-letter type programs.  If you have something to say (or want to paraphrase someone whose opinion you value) and think it is of sufficient value, send it to me along with your thoughts.  I don't need your encouragement to share it if I think it worth sharing.  And whether I do or not is no reflection on my patriotism, my support for our armed forces, my politics, my religion or my respect for motherhood.

If you must send me something you received in your inbox, at least have the courtesy to attach a note at the beginning explaining why you are sending it and include some of your own thoughts or disclaimers.

As I said in the beginning, we are friends.  I value and respect YOUR opinion.  That doesn't mean I always agree you.  Friends don't have to agree on everything, they just have to have some things in common, some things on which they do agree.  Friends can just enjoy each other's company. 

You may hold some beliefs that I find a little short of stupid -- and vice versa.  You may do some things I would never do.  But I am always interested in learning why you have the beliefs you have, why you behave the way you do, and I can still like you even though you can sometimes be such a jerk.  You fascinate me at times, but you always make me happy to call you friend.

So, please stop sending me the propaganda generated by email friends who lack your taste.  Some of it is funny, but seldom is it interesting or worthy of comment, much less the time needed to forward it to others in my contact list.

HOWEVER, if you have the insatiable urge to forward material to people in your contact list, highlight and copy this article and send it to them.  They may think you are a first-class jerk, but then again, they may just thank you.